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My Memory Is Just As Good

Close Friends
Puns
Submitted by Dan the Man 009

I'm close friends with 25 letters of the alphabet...

I don't know 'y'.

My Memory Is Just As Good
Elderly Jokes
Submitted by Jeff Knowles

Three elderly ladies sit in a diner, discussing their health. One lady says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down."

The second lady says, "You think that's bad? The other day, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, and I couldn't remember whether I was going to sleep or had just woken up!"

The third lady smiles smugly. "Well, my memory is just as good as it's always been, knock on wood," she says as she raps on the table. Then with a startled look on her face, she asks, "Who's there?"

[CyberJoke3000] May 1, 2024

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester Wallace Krebs sends along Astrum's in-depth video of the Lunar Reconnaissance Orbiter which has been taking hi-res photos of the moon's surface for 15 years. Think you know the moon?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svLDNMNDk-U

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

A farmer's horse was ill, so he called the veterinarian. The vet said, "Your horse has a virus. Give him this medicine for three days. If he's not better by then, we'll have to put him down." The horse's friend, the pig, overheard this and encouraged the horse to "be strong, my friend. Get up and walk." Nothing. The next day, the horse was still down. The pig told him, "Come on, buddy. Get up or you're gonna die." The horse couldn't. On the third day, the pig told the horse, "Look, pal, it's now or never! Come on. get up. Have courage! Come on! That's it. Slowly! Great! Now walk. That's it! Now, faster. Come on. Run. Run more! Yes! You did it!" The farmer saw the horse running and shouted, "It's a miracle! My horse is cured! Let's have a party. I'll slaughter the pig!"

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Slap her on the ass and tell her to get back in the kitchen!

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