Improvising Valentine's Day

True Love Relationship Jokes Submitted by S.Sovetts Boyfriend: "Honey, on this Valentine's Day, I want to tell you something... I'm not rich like Robert. I don't have a mansion like Gary. I don't have a Porsche like Martin. But I do love you and I want to marry you." Girlfriend: "Oh dear, I love you too... what was that you said about Martin?"

Improvising Valentine's Day Relationship Jokes Submitted by HENNE My friend and I work in a lawn-mower-parts warehouse. He had the idea that his wife did not want a card on Valentine's Day, but when he spoke to her on the phone, he discovered she was expecting one. Not having time to buy a card on his way home, he was stuck. Then he looked at the lawn-mower trade magazines scattered around the office and got an idea. Using scissors and glue, he created a card with pictures of mowers, next to which he wrote: "I lawn for you mower and mower each day."

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Thought Of The Day: Before You Marry "Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are." - Will Ferrell

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[CyberJoke3000] February 14, 2024

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Happy Valentine’s Day! (Hope you didn’t forget!)

Why are there giant barcodes in the middle of the Mojave Desert and elsewhere on Earth? It's not for aliens.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=kxf1F6SWYSY

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

I have my Valentine's Day all planned out. Waken to breakfast in bed. Chocolates for lunch. Stream a romantic movie. Candlelight dinner for two at a romantic restaurant. Regret eating two dinners.

"Boss, can I have Valentine’s Day off?" "What? Do you realize what you're asking for? There are 365 days each year. Each of the 52 weeks, you already have two days off, so that leaves only 261 days available for work. You spend 16 hours per day away from work; that's the equivalent of 170 days, leaving only 91. You spend 30 minutes a day on coffee breaks, which adds up to another 23 days, leaving only 68 days available. Your one-hour lunch break uses up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days for work. You take at least 2 sick days per year, leaving you 20 days and our 5 holidays each year leaves your available working time at 15 days. We give 14 days of vacation per year, which leaves only 1 day available for work. And I'll be damned if you are going to take that one day off!"

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