الأربعاء، 20 مارس 2024

Driver License Picture

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All We Can Afford
Family Jokes
Submitted by Marty

(Husband to wife) If I could write a check for a million dollars, I could afford to be eccentric.

(Wife) Keep working at it honey, at this point in time you can only afford to be delusional.


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Driver License Picture
Police Jokes
Submitted by GDL

A traffic cop stopped a woman for a minor traffic violation. After examining her driver's license in silence for a moment, he said, "You know something? This is one of the finest, most realistic pictures I've ever seen. I'm glad to see you aren't one of those vain women who have their photos retouched to remove all the lines in their face."

"Sir," she replied icily, "you are looking at my thumb-print."


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[CyberJoke3000] March 20, 2024

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

The sounds of a healthy reef played through underwater speakers could encourage coral larvae to recolonize damaged or degraded reefs. Healthy reef sounds helped coral larvae settle at rates seven times higher than usual.
https://abcn.ws/3IOZroo

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Boss: "This is the third time this week that you've been late for work. Do you know what that means?" Employee: "That today is Wednesday?"

A professor told his students, "Today's lesson is on the three stages of human emotion: surprise, irritation, and rage." Then he dialed a random number on his phone, put it on speaker and, when someone answered, said, "Hello? May I please speak with Dave?" The voice on the line answered, "I'm sorry, but you have the wrong number." The professor hung up and said, "Now, students, that's surprise. Now I'll show you irritation." He hit redial and asked, "Hi. Can Dave come to the phone?" "I told you, buddy. You have the wrong number."  "Now that's irritation." He dialed the same number a third time and asked, "Is Dave available?"  "Listen, you fucking dipshit, if you call me again, I'll find you and shove that phone up your ass!" The professor says to the class, "That's rage." One student said, "Professor? Didn't you forget the fourth stage?" "And, what is that?" "Total confusion." The student hit redial and said, "Hi, this is Dave. Have I had any calls today?"


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Yeah or nah? Today's Dad Joke

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