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الثلاثاء، 28 مايو 2024

A Shady Place

Everyone Is Playing Golf
Golf Jokes
Submitted by jim larkin

An office employee knowing his boss was off for the day transferred the office telephone to his own cell phone and took it with him to play golf.

The boss called and asked how everything was going and the employee said fine.

The boss then said, "Move a little faster then, will you, I'm in the foursome behind you."

A Shady Place
Kid Jokes
Submitted by stee

Shortly after my grandmother passed away, I took my daughter to her grave site, which was located beside a row of pine trees.

"How nice," I said. "Grandma has a great spot here in the shade."

My daughter replied, "Mom, aren't they all in the shade?"

[CyberJoke3000] May 28, 2024

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

You've probably heard that Red Lobster filed for bankruptcy last week. But they had more problems just "endless shrimp." Venture capitalists and greedy owners played a part, too.
https://cnn.it/3yyhRbk

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

George Clooney, Matt Damon, and Matthew McConaughey decided to make a film together. Clooney said, "I'll direct." Damon said, "I'll act." McConaughey said, "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write!"

Billy Bob and Susie Jane were fooling around out in the cornfield. Billy Bob said, "Susie Jane, I'm so horny. You gotta let me have some." Susie Jane said, "I'm horny, too, so maybe I will, or maybe I won't, but iff'n I do, it's gonna cost you fifty cents." Billy Bob dug down in his pockets. "Susie Jane, I only got a quarter. Let's do it for a quarter." "Ain't no way I am gonna do it for no quarter. I want a half dollar." "Tell you what, Susie Jane. How about you just give me a quarter's worth?" Susie Jane said, "Do I look dumb? I know you ain' gonna stop." Billy Bob said, "I promise I'll stop whenever you say." So they got down between the rows of corn and started going at it. After a minute or so, Susie Jane moaned, "Billy Bob. Oh, Billy Bob!" "Oh, Susie Jane, my quarter cain't be up already." "Billy Bob, you see that big cornstalk over there on your left?" "Uh, huh." "And you see that big cornstalk on your right?" "Uh, huh." "You grab a'holt of them cornstalks, Billy Bob, cause I'm a'fixin' to loan you a quarter!"

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الاثنين، 27 مايو 2024

[CyberJoke3000] May 27, 2024

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Happy Memorial Day! You have plenty of time for sight gags today:
http://allowe.com/humor/sight-gags.html?PicNumber=9431

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

A woman was in labor with their first child. Suddenly she began to shout, "Shouldn't. Couldn't. Wouldn't. Didn't. Can't." Her husband cried, "Doc! What's wrong with my wife?" The doctor replied, "Nothing. She's just having contractions!"

What did the pedophile say when he was paroled? "Wow, I feel like a kid again!"