الاثنين، 23 سبتمبر 2024

Seven Word Minimum

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Bank Safety
Misc Jokes
Submitted by Leibel

The cleaning lady comes to the bank manager...

"Can you please give me the key of the safe vault?"

"What?! What for?"

"It's always so time consuming to have to use my hairpin in order to clean it!"

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Seven Word Minimum
Marriage Jokes
Submitted by HENNE

A woman goes to the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published. The obit editor informs her that there is a charge of 50 cents per word. She pauses, reflects, and then she says, well then, let it read: "Fred Brown died."

Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor tells her that there is a seven word minimum for all obituaries.

She thinks it over and in a few seconds says, "In that case, let it read, 'Fred Brown died. Golf clubs for sale.'"

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[CyberJoke3000] September 23, 2024

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

Summer is over. Enjoy these fresh fall sight gags.
http://allowe.com/humor/sight-gags.html?PicNumber=9591

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

Will had a summer job pumping gas in Oregon. A man stopped for a fill-up, got out of his car, opened an umbrella, and followed Will around as he worked, keeping the sun off him. A week later, he returned, but this time he got out of the car with his umbrella and opened it, but then just stood under it, watching Will work. Will asked, "So, you're not going to keep the sun off me this time?" The man replied, "Be careful, young man: fuel me once, shade on you; fuel me twice, shade on me!"

Jake and Mike were on their way to the ski resort when they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They found a farmhouse and asked its rather attractive housewife if they could spend the night. "Oh, I don't think so," she explained. "You see, I'm recently divorced and you know how neighbors will talk." "Well, then," said Jake, "how about if we just sleep in your barn?" That seemed acceptable to all. About nine months later, Jake got a letter from the woman's attorney. He immediately phoned his ski buddy, Mike. "Hey, Mike. Do you remember our ski trip and that good-looking divorcee? You didn't happen to sneak into her house in the middle of the night and have sex with her, did you?" "Well, yeah, I did." "And, by any chance did you happen to use my name instead of yours?" Mike blushed. "Well, yeah, I'm afraid I did." "Hey, thanks! She just died and left me everything!"


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