الجمعة، 8 نوفمبر 2024

Where Is Jesus?

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Coffee Shop
Holiday Jokes
Submitted by HENNE

I walked into a coffee shop on Halloween to find the woman behind the counter with a bunch of sponges pinned to her uniform.

"I'm assuming this is a costume, but just what are you supposed to be?" I asked.

The waitress responded proudly, "I'm self-absorbed."

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Where Is Jesus?
Religious Jokes
Submitted by Merkv814

A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred for real.

He asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?"

Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven."

Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart."

Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know, I know! He's in our bathroom!!!"

The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.

Little Johnny said, "Well... every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, 'Good Lord, are you still in there?!'"

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[CyberJoke3000] November 8, 2024

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

How can a woman tell if she's ugly? She sits at the bar and knows the price of every drink!

An old Scotsman was talking to a young man in a pub. "Laddie, look out at that field. Do you see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. I worked for months, but do they call me MacGreggor-the-Fence-Builder? Nooo." Then the old man pointed to the bar. "Laddie, look here at this bar. Do you see how smooth and just it is? I planed that surface down by me own achin' back. I carved that wood with me own hard labor. I worked on it for weeks. But do they call me MacGreggor-the-Woodworker? Nooo." Then the old man points out the other window. "Laddie, look out to sea. Do you see that pier that stretches out as far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off me brow. I nailed it board by board. But do they call me MacGreggor-the-Pier-Builder? Nooo." Then the old man looks around nervously, making sure no one is listening. "But, you fuck one sheep..." 


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