الخميس، 26 سبتمبر 2024

Two Pints

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Unclear Question
Misc Jokes
Submitted by Quantum321

My house had been burglarized and the police were taking a report.

The policeman asked me, "Have you lived here all your life?"

I replied, "Hopefully, not yet!"

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Two Pints
Bar & Drinking Jokes
Submitted by HENNE

Two fellows stopped into an English pub for a drink. They called the proprietor over and asked him to settle an argument.

"Are there two pints in a quart or four?" asked one.

"There be two pints in a quart," confirmed the proprietor.

They moved back along the bar and soon the barmaid asked for their order.

"Two pints please, miss, and the bartender offered to buy them for us."

The barmaid doubted that her boss would be so generous, so one of the fellows called out to the proprietor at the other end of the bar, "You did say two pints, didn't you?"

"That's right," he called back, "two pints!"

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[CyberJoke3000] September 26, 2024

It's Al Lowe's CyberJoke 3000™

CyberJokester Jason Myers sends along this interesting article from NOAA about sand. Yep, sand. If more than half of the material is larger than 0.03 inches but smaller than 0.18 inches, it's sand. If smaller, it's silt or clay; if larger, it's gravel. Who knew?
https://bit.ly/4e6IrID

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

What did King Arthur name his backup knight? Sir Plus.

Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation. "How'd you die?" the first man asks. "I froze to death," he replies. "That's awful. How does it feel?" "At first, it's uncomfortable, but eventually you get numb and drift off, as if you're sleeping. It's very calm. How about you? How did you die?" "Oh, I had a heart attack. You see, I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I arrived home unexpectedly, ran up to our bedroom and found her alone, knitting. So I ran down to the basement, but couldn't find anyone hiding there, either. Next, I ran up to the second floor; no one there either. Then, I ran as fast as I could to the attic, but before I could get there, I had a massive heart attack and collapsed." The second man shakes his head. "That's so ironic," he says. "What do you mean?" "If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both still be alive!"


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