الاثنين، 1 أبريل 2024

Funeral Comments

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Good News & Bad News
Doctor Jokes
Submitted by Danny Jackson

Doctor: "Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news first?"

Patient: "Good new please!"

Doctor: "Well, we're naming a disease after you..."

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Funeral Comments
Misc Jokes
Submitted by merk

Three friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in heaven. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you?"

The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."

The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow.

The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say... Look, he's Moving!"

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[CyberJoke3000] April 1, 2024

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Today's CyberJoke 3000™

It Might be a Redneck Easter if: Dinner is serve on a Ping-Pong table. The china is previously-used paper plates. The entrée is squirrel and dumplings. The salad bowls all say Cool Whip. The buffet table is an ironing board. Before dinner, you have to decide which pet to eat. The serving platter is a Ford hub cap. The stuffing's "secret ingredient" came from the bait shop. The only condiment is ketchup. Side dishes include beef jerky and Moon Pies. You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge. The directions to the house include "turn off the paved road." The Jell-o is molded in the shape of Elvis. Vienna Sausage is the appetizer.

Three elderly ladies met every week without fail for coffee, cigarettes, and conversation. One day, Doris announced, "I'm giving up smoking. I survived cancer of the uterus, and I'm not taking any more chances." Before Doris finished speaking, Edith lit up a butt. Hazel asked, "Edith? Aren't you afraid of getting cancer of the uterus?" Edith replied without batting an eye, "Oh, no dear. I don't inhale that far down!"


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